But I am

a pretentious bastard.

the catholic church says

wallowing in self pity is even worse than masturbation.
the sky is blue.
jesus loves you.
you ought to be normal.
madmen should be sent to an assylum.
you are a sinner because you are a wanker.

the clock ticks.

me:
what a loser.
wallowing in self pity.

present and the past.

to the future me:
if you cannot empathize with me.. then why the fuck are you even reading this?
you do not know what i went through.
i had to bear pain and pleasure and i made you.
and now you sneer at me.

on anonymity

the same people laughed at him when he came out.

desperately in need of

..... a hit

technically i shouldn't be writing this.
i don't have a sense of humour.
i don't know any fancy words.
but i am.
i know i am unlike me today but what i ate today was very different from what i eat everyday.
so i am hereby acquitted from all those false charges against me.

i was calm today.
but then i wanted to shoot some people.
i consoled myself.
so i am again.
but then the emptiness sets in. you die you become mud.
i watch 'everybody hurts' kaa video.. i don't like it.. i start hating hope (fuck grammer)

the end by doors.. the first few notes.. i hear pure emotions.. cannot place them.. maybe its insanity.. maybe pain.. if am allowed to say this its bittersweet..


i need something to balance me out.
i feel so hollow and empty.
i think i cannot come up with anyother word right now.
now i call it quits.

The Visibilty

Dogs are visible. Yet when asked to be used as courier for drugs they refuse. But then if what you can see is to be realised. Then I feel that its all in the mind. Like Harrods. You think am writing shite. One bang on your head and the game is myne. Wankers ehh they are every where. And then the possibilty of the meat injection is not there. At least I don't wish for it today. But aah who cares. Everyone's a fag anyway.

Visibility

Comrade what we want to see is visible again. Yes the divine has given us darshan. We saw the mata and went into raptures of swaying while high on ganja. We also want some good alcohol.