Friday, March 24, 2006

Shit shit shit shit...

Comrade what to say. The whole world is falling apart. In an attempt to conquer the castle of freedom owned by bloody capitalists my army, in which I was an honourary colonel, got massacred. Comrade we were cut to pieces on the flanks by a scientist and some long named asian, fresh out of the training school. We mounted an assault on the castle first. After some intitial victories the castle despatched its most seasoned bombardier. We ran comrade, the seasoned bombardier had the love of the devil woman. Invoking Mata's name could not stand in front of pure evil. However comrade red will win someday. Anyway our commander and his right hand man both veterans and converters of other castles then decided to direct our fleeing army onto the scientist and the asian. We had penetrated both their defences when comrade our quarter master mistakenly offered them supplies!!! Can you believe that!!! After that there was nothing left, we had to abandon the battle. The red flag was pulled down, but comrade we have not lost heart. The commander and quarter master have resigned as they have been transferred to serve the cause in more unholy lands. Comrade next year when your army joins mine am sure the red onslaught will have no stopping.

But then what I see is that you comrade have given up on the ideals of red. Comrade let me disclose some startling and disturbing facts.

Sonia Maino's kundli said she would be the unknown inspiration of "My Sacrifice" attributed to hmmm lemme think yaa those lizardy raampaani like Creed. Sonia Maino is actually an alien from outer space. Mata Teleute came in my dream comrade. It was most wondrous. I fell on my knees and saw myself drinking gobar!! Anyway Mata told me about this despicable leader sorry alien. From the bowels of planet Xyloklon-7, from the tenticular loins of a dagerous alien of the species Xetra spawned the nefarious creature Sonia bred to thrive on the Gandhi surname. Comrade do you think the slow obliteration of the Gandhi parivar is just a coincidence? First the holy Mahatma, then Sanjay then Indira (God bless her soul) and then Rajiv. All have actually been sucked clean by Sonia and mutantious brood. Comrade her aim is to colonise Earth as a village for Xyloklon-7, part of their war effort. Mata Teleute told me all this comrade. My eyes have truly awakened. Luckily Mata also said that if I wear full pants and ensure that my family is not attached to ant powder Maino will not be able to affect me. Also luckily for you comrade the Mata gave special blessing to protect you from Maino's blood sucking powers irrespective of your state of undress. I felt very jealous but comrade we are reds. If our Mata likes you then I will not commit bottle crushing out of anger.

So comrade I hope you now know why we have to be careful of Maino.

On this day I found another close neighbour. My neighbours abandon the neighbourhood very fast. I guess its because the shit stinks highly of H2S.

Comrade today I shat on this Toothpaste like stinky capitalist American. I spared him no words.
"hoh monkeyman,

so SRL stands for what Shitty resource Licker?? Do you realise you are actually a dot, a mere insignificant creature among the 7 billion odd world's population. you profess to be a bear fan. but do these things actually know about your existence. do you realise that in wyoming a cat exists by the name of shankybaby. tht cat does not care bout u, but it likes cakes and beer.
monkeyman live out your insignificant life to its unknown and welcome end.

as for me i am god. abuse me curse or even tell nath me. i will still remain a god. btw ur life may have a meaning it you agree to follow our goddess.

kumar jeffery"

Comrade as you can see I have been severe. But then capitalism has been a bane.

With a special kiss salute to our leader in whose honour a film will be made by a capitalist baboon. And of course Jai Mata Di, Shaan se I write Jai Teleute di, Loudly I write Jai Teleute, Jai Mata Di, Shaan se I write Jai Teleute di, Loudly I write Jai Teleute, Jai Mata Di, Shaan se I write Jai Teleute di, Loudly I write Jai Teleute, Jai Mata Di, Shaan se I write Jai Teleute di, Loudly I write Jai Teleute, Jai Mata Di, Shaan se I write Jai Teleute di, Loudly I write Jai Teleute, Jai Mata Di, Shaan se I write Jai Teleute di, Loudly I write Jai Teleute, ...............

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Phoney Shit and a Battle

Comrade it is time. It is time for change. Today if we can rally support we must get like minded people, blast away others and secure our future. Comrade these past few days I have been praying intensely to Mata. I hear of dark tidings happening in the land. Due to conspiracy of CIA, BJP, Sangh Parivar, Carly Fiorina and John Williams etc. etc. bad bad things have happened which has resulted in the faltering of the evangelistic crusade.
Anyway comrade today after eating some eggs I developed a strong wish for crapping on a Jaguar toiletery creation. Luckily for me I found this abominable turtle:
He/She is of unknown origin. However Mata seems to like this alarm clock like being so I too forced myself to withhold my downpourings from you know where. This thingy is a Nirvana wannabe. I reminded this blah:
"Polly wants a cracker
I think I should get off her first
Maybe she wants some water
To put out the blow torch
blah blah ( zing zing dham dham )
Want some help
Please myself

dear phart phoneybain,
i am very glad to have met you. it was my life long wish to see you blogging. so how are u enjoying life as a person who has changed identity to it? btw reviewing restaurants and star tv's oscar coverage warrants a big reward in the form of a che guevara rights manifesto. kindly take to coca leaf manufacturing.
kumar jeffery"

As you can see the text smells of sugar. But I have sworn allegiance to Mata. Can't risk angering her.
Comrade good bye.

Jai Mata Teleute.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

My comrade swallowed grassy shit

Comrade today I shitted in an innovative way. My shit was not only smelly this time but contained lots of foreign particles as well. I went to my neighbour (go figure that one) Jorge Andrés Gómez Arismendi, from Santiago, Chile. He will be happy to see insults hurled at him by a foreigner in spanish.
His shit pot is titled:
anyway on this despicable monkey's blog i reminded him:
amigo, usted es mi vecino aunque
> 10000 millas de Santiago. hablo dos idiomas, mientras que usted es una cabra salvaje. es yo y la misión de mi camarada en barf. esto es lo que sé sobre Chile: ¿oí de kumar lallan que usted es una guitarra toting bandit..also alegre oyó que u era el mayordomo del limpiador del racquet de los rios del marcelo del socio de la adherencia de soldadura de la cama de los salas del marcelo del compañero del sitio de los pinochet del augusto......... de ese universo de la falta que casó a presidente....are del oldie del ur usted un exportador de vinos??? ¿o es usted simplemente el intentar del individuo del kannada oído para ser un phony?? respeto

you are my neighbour even though am >10000 miles from santiago. i speak two languages, while you are a wild goat. it is me and my comrade's mission to barf. this is what i know about chile:
i heard from lallan kumar that you are a guitar toting gay bandit..also heard u were augusto pinochet's room mate...marcelo salas' bed wetting partner...marcelo rios' racquet cleaner...butler of that miss universe who married ur oldie president....are you an exporter of wines???
or are you simply a kannada guy trying hard to be a phony??


With a special prayer to Teleute Amma.
Jai Mata Ki.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

I vomit

Comrade today while surfing around trying to build up pressure I came across this entity: comrade I do go to this entity's place pretty often. He is a throughly detestable unbeliever. I sincerely believe he will be a good man if accepts the word.
But anyway this schmuck has put this "DO NOT COPY" thingy on his page. @#%#$%%@#%!!! What the fuck!!! Who does he think he is? Bloody some sort of David Beckham or the son of Sonia Gandhi or does he think he is the bloody manager of Mahindra United F.C?
Man I have created a fresh blog and have copy pasted a lot of his acid crazed ravings, his unholy diatribes, his writings which he thinks would win him a Nobel. This is the place where I have copy pasted dirty shit from his blog. Let's see who the fuck will attack me. I am waiting for the Swiss Guards comrade. You can take care of the CIA.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

A case of constipation

Comrade today was a bad day for me. In spite of repeating the Lord's name 36 times, my output was zero. Yet i chanced upon an entity, and on seeing it felt some collywobbles in my rectum. Result:
that is:
"dear entity (Shobhik Kanti Ghosh),it has been a great honour for me to read your posts. it however pains me that indulge in drugs ( your background is psychedelic). but i like your tastes, dunno think ur blog is worth breaking my shit so please start believing in Mata Teleute. Mataji's grace has allowed me to be coming first in exams, scoring 3 fours in cricket and allowing entities score 29 goals during my golakeeping for my soccer club."

However comrade its a blatant evangelistic comment and Father Rodricks from the Vatican City warned me that I am proceeding to the dark side of the non-believer. Hence I have to limit my satanic baptisms and keep them for really shitty people. Comrade I think it is time to proclaim our allegiance to the hammer and the sickle.

Monday, March 13, 2006

Bad case of shit on face

Comrade, refer
or, this entity is bent on misguiding innocent Indians and Kenyans. I have attempted to remind him that he is no Lord our God, whose words or deeds are noted down in some book.
My words of wisdom say:
"ur template says "the metalled higway", while ur title mentions the opposite fact, are you are trying to fool schmucks like me???or are u plain duh."

And yaa he is trying to fool peruvians too.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Mata's blessing === Quick recovery

Comrade, my first canvas piece is ready. We dedicate it to our project:

this chirkut is a holy man. it is rumoured his name actually is "Bhootnath".
refer :
my entry at this livorious' blog:
"dear entity,i am deeply harmed to see the work of my comrade eliminated, while the ramblings of a heroin crazed oil rig worker still shine on.
Kumar Jeffery"
oil rigger ==== His Highness Sir Souvik Adhya, BP, CBE, MBE, Schlum Schmuck, LP, Karamrker Algorithm, Ikea Furnisher, Chevron Sucker, Dick Cheney's bullet........
Actually the entire list of what he is will be put up on his blog.
Comrade thus ends a good night's work.
Jai Teleute Mata Di.

Jesus is life( I still believe in you J, don't wanna be near Lucifer due to my flirtations with Mata rani).

Popped in a medicine.

Comrade dearest, I sent respects to our project goddess Teleute(#chanting, screaming, wailing in our temple of yellow#). Here is the text of my redemption letter:

"dear behenji,I am being changed being after blanknoise project. this is to intimate to you that me and my comrade, have commenced ---------. please pray to the lord our god jesus christ; peace be upon him, that our spirits reamin high and that our shit splatters well on other people's blog.
Kumar Jeffery"

Blank Noise project is what the Jeffery clan supports wholeheartedly. In its honour, the clan shaped shit models and chucked them at eve teasers.
Please do visit : This is Mata Teleute's blog.

Loose Motion

My comrade is a person of extraordinary abilities. His excreta is multi-dimensional, extra smelly variety and sharp too. I dedicate my first online shit to him. Hence I shit on May the journey be gross.